The offense is a gift. In fact, everything in life is a gift. This includes not only the good things that happen but equally all the hardships, betrayals, rejection, trials, and the wrongs towards you, and that you have done to others. We all want the same thing. We want somebody to love and share our life with. However, when we get rejected or criticized by our mate (or someone important to us) we feel unloved, disrespected, not wanted or valued. Thus, we tend to repay the hurt with selfish (unloving) ways in return. Both are fear based and rooted in a belief of lack, or not good enough, which will continue to amplify the problem, unless resolved. This is why we repay the wrong with right or repay selfishness with love. Only love dissolves fear.
Without the offense I would not be presented with the opportunity to love (forgive, make amends, model kindness, build up relationships and have unity). Jesus died for us while we were yet still sinners (Romans 5: 8). Jesus came to reconcile us to God, in His love, and to one another (even though he knew no sin yet paid the price for all our sins).
As a believer and knowing that Jesus lives in me, I get to forgive. The offensive behavior of someone else is a gift or opportunity for me to give love (understand, forgive, and have compassion) towards others in the face of their not loving me or loving God. We are given His amazing love to give to each other and to reconcile all differences we might have. This is for our personal and relational benefit. God came to change me into His nature, not keep me in fear, bitterness, grudges, or blame. I am of Christ. I am of love.
This doesn’t mean I condone their behavior, but it doesn’t mean I have the right to hold anger or a grudge against them. For if I do, I’m not seeing the grace, the forgiveness, and the love that God gives me, or them. Plus, in a way, I’m saying I should be judged and grudged for my selfish past ways (see Matthew 7: 1-5). Because it's Christ who lives in me, and not the old man or self-seeking nature, I give love freely because nobody owes me anything. That’s right, nobody owes me anything. Expectations of how someone should behave or treat me are not owed to me, nor do I need it in order to love them.
I think this has been one of the most revealing things for me to truly discover, embrace, and live out. If the real challenging things and the real big offenses didn’t happen to me, I would not have the opportunity to focus on God’s love, who I am, and my attitude/heart of love for others. How much does God keep loving every human being, no matter how much they keep sinning (putting self-first)? He never stops! Because His love is not based on what we do, it’s based on Who he is. Love is based on one’s nature (Identity). As Jesus said, love one another as I love you. If someone treats me selfishly, how are they going to see the good loving way unless I give it. Not only do they need to see it I also need to give it. Please see my book and video "I am Whose I am" to help you have more joy, peace, gratitude, and fulfillment. God bless you :).
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